As Kurt and I started to plan our wedding celebration, I will freely admit I felt the pressure to have this "perfect" or "dream" wedding. What did that mean? Perhaps it was the huge Cinderalla-esque affair, complete with the large ballroom and even larger dress. Or it was the rustic wedding, small and intimate with lots of DIY details. With all of these examples and suggestions competing for my attention, it took me a bit to realize that whatever wedding we were going to plan was going to be the "perfect" wedding for us.

Photo: Josh DeHonney for George Street Photo & Video — *Photo:* *Josh DeHonney* *for* *George Street Photo & Video*

Once I had this realization and felt like I could move beyond what I thought I was expected to do and to be as a bride, I found myself seeking advice from a couple of my close friends who were either planning their own weddings or already married. Their straightforward advice was so valuable in those early planning days - often even more so than the blogs and magazines I read on a regular basis. My dear friend Mattye, of The LovingKind, is one friend in particular for whom I found myself filing away questions.

In two of Mattye's earliest posts on The LovingKind, she talks about identifying her "focus 3" - the three most important areas of a wedding that receive the majority of focus during planning. She and I talked about the "focus 3" many times, and reading her posts early during our planning process really helped Kurt and I to identify these items for our wedding as well! I've listed these key areas below:

our "focus 3"

music

visual aesthetic

food

With Kurt and I both living lives that have been shaped by music, it shouldn't be a surprise this was first on our list.

As Kurt and I thought about and described our ideal wedding in those early days, we kept coming back to the visual elements we wanted to highlight - the design of printed pieces, the arrangement of a ceremony space, the way tables could invite conversation during a reception, and personal attire. To us, this attention to detail is how everything comes together to create a truly memorable experience.

Something that Kurt and I identified early in our relationship was our shared enjoyment of really good food. Both Kurt and I have attended so many weddings and we felt this was one way we could set ourselves apart from the standard wedding experience. We met over a tapas meal and a nice Crianza Tempranillo and wanted that intimate feeling to permeate our entire evening.

So, those were our "focus 3!" Look for posts detailing how we achieved each of these areas over the next couple of weeks. I cannot wait to share more about our celebration with you!

This is the first in a series of posts that will be dedicated to our wedding planning process! As you read these posts, I encourage you to remember that my version doesn't have to be your version - how does your own subjective perfection come through in the way you choose to celebrate life's milestones? Share your thoughts in the comments!